DREAMS AND NIGHTMARES

There is an old Chinese expression "That a dream that lasts too long turns into a nightmare." Well last night we saw BO and is dream speech for some and if he is elected it will be a nightmare for the rest of us. The arrogance was palpable last night when Barry O tried to use the MLK Jr. anniversary of his GREAT dream speech to try to inspire the 80,000 cool aid sippers that attended Woodstock West. There was Oprah who could not attend the first part of the convention until she found her diamond encrusted Barrack Obama glasses. The other usual suspects were there Al "Hefty Bag" Gore, The Clinton twins Hill and Chelsea, Bill could not stay he has a pressing engagement in Vegas, and of course Nancy :The Idiot" Pelosi to make sure no one got out of line.

Remember the Mondale line "Where's the beef" well last night it was "Where's the ribs". Right after he said he would lay out the specifics in his plan to change our country he went again to tell us about his plan that would do nothing more then redistribute the wealth in this country.

No Barry O we do not need you to help us dream and help us turn this nation around. We are doing just fine thank you and I for one suggest that maybe it is you who need to turn around and just leave town.

AGENT ORANGE

Well there was Hill last night looking simply marvelous in her Orange traveling pant suit. If you remember the old Groucho Marx show "You Bet Your LIfe" one of the savior questions at the end for the folks who couldn't answer any of the questions was "What color is an orange" well Hillary got it wrong last her orange was brown. As brown as the crap that comes out of her tail section. Was her speech meant to inspire and set the stage for her run in four years or was it meant to unify. Tough question me thinks unity was not on her mind. Tonite her life partner will be up to heal the wounds that he opened up early and often in the party of Al Gore. As this Ship of Fools cruise continues we can only look forward to more laughs along the way.

SO

OK last night was the first night of the week that was. Nancy Pelosi kicked off the an air fun with her imitation of Moms Mabley only difference she had no hat. Shorted Allergan stock today maker of Botox because clearly there are major side effects that are not listed on the bottle. Here is the first speaker of the house who can not put a sentence together. As someone said ol Nancy is not the one whose test paper you would have cheated from in High School presumming she made high school.

Next came Caroline Kennedy (noticed no mention of her married name ever) and then Uncle Teddy. While the vidoe was touching don't know if I would have gone with the nautical theme.

Then onto the Keynote speaker Michelle Obama. OK Michelle we get it you are smart, you are a great mom, and you love your husband. These are qualities for those of us who are old enough to remember the tv show in the late 50's Queen for a Day. So Michelle be on the lookout for a washer dryer. If you were trying to convince us that you are not angry you made a valiant effort but came up a little short. And I am sure Hillary appreciated the kind words you threw her way.

All in all quite a night very fitting for this three ring circus. If BO was looking for a bounce from Biden's joing the team and Michelle O's speech he needs to keep looking Last time I checked he was tied with McClain.

WHY DOES THE CAGED BIRD SING

Well today is the start of the Democratic National Convention or better known to most thinking folks as "Mutants on Parade" or "Jerry Springer and Friends meet Montel Williams" First up to tell us what she has to say is Michelle Obama. Ms. Obama will tell us why her husband is the right guy to become President of the United States. She will tell us that Barack is a good and decent man who knows what is best for this country. She will tell us how proud she is of her husband. I hope she is more proud of him then she is of her country. BO certainly knows what's best for America remember he is the one who said "America is the greatest country in the world, I want you to help me change it."

Look for Hillary to continue to negotiate to get her campaign debt paid for by BO. Her leverage is you don't pay I won't play the good soldier. It is so wonderful that she can be bought for a few bucks. Wednesday night Wee Willie is back on center stage. What can this clown possibly say to turn things around. I was only kidding when I said the only reason BO got the nomination is because he is an African American. This is going to be fun.

THAT 3AM PHONE CALL

After a night of partying the night away at the Sisters of Sappho Club in New York Hillary was really tired when she got back to her midtown hotel. Not 15 minutes after she took off her flannel shirt and birkenstock stilletos the phone rang. It was James Carville, Lanny Davis, Paul Begala, Harold Ickes, and the rest of the Clinton attack team. Hillary answered and Carville said Madame President we have a problem. Hillary resonded James I know I have a problem but Bill is always going to be a problem. No Madame President Barack just picked Joe Biden as his running mate. Oh Shit said Hill with him on the ticket BO has a chance. James what do you think I should do. Well said Paul Begala you can't date him like you did with Vince Foster, Hill responds please don't remind me of having to sleep with that guy. He could never get the strap on right. Ickes chimes in I could plant a story and say he was client number 10. No said Lanny David I am number 10 and no one would believe it any way Biden is a boy scout. Well this blows said Hill this could put that idiot over the top. OK here is what we have to do. Biden is smart, very few skeletons, and is very by the most the public as a real brigtht guy. So trying to blow this guy up is going to be hard. I do have one idea is Teddy Kennedy still able to drive and can we get him to drive Biden to the convention?

MY HOUSE OR YOURS

So BO and his followers are concerned about the number of houses that John McCain and his wife own. Boy that's real important stuff. How about being concerned about the people who just lost their house Barry O. Hey Barack are you pissed off at Candy Spelling who just sold her 56,500 square foot house to buy a 47 million dollar condo. Let's see I don't understand the issues facng this country and I still don't know why the Russians have tanks in the streets of Atlanta, Georgia (wrong continent Barry) so let me jump on the class warfare band wagon. Kind of reminds me of our wonderful Senator Babs Boxer who when asked any question about any subject responds "That problem could be solved as a long as a women has a right to choose

Should be a great convention. The Clinton triplets Hill, Bill and Chels will be there. BO and his VP and the other usual suspects. What a crew maybe we can get Mike Dukakis to make a cameo appearance.

Wonder what accent BO will use for his acceptance speech in front of the 75,000 Stepford attendees at Invesco Field. Don't know if you noticed but BO has turned from his Harvard mumble to speaking more like a brother every day.

Stay tuned this will be fun.

YO BARRY WAZ UP

Well when we last left the presumptive Democratic nominee Barack "Barry Hussein" Obama he was trying to figure out what he wanted to be when he grew up. Some of his handlers were looking for him to stay the smug intellectual elitist who has a complete disdain for the average American while the others wanted him to get into hand to hand combat with his Republican challenger. And that is the point this guy does not know who he is. He continues to float around the issues and tell everyone what they want and need to hear (not unlike alot of politicans) but he does it in the most distasteful way he truly believes his own BS to the degree that he turns off some of his supporters. Remember Al The Whale Gore and his magical mystery tour of the Alpha Male zone. Well thats what we have with BO. He will continue to wake up each morning and say to himself what do I want to be today. Worry not fellow ragers this guy is going no place.

THE ART OF SLEEPING WITH ONE EYE OPEN

As we konw politics is a rough game and sometimes a dangerous one. Don't know if you caught it but BO's plane had a too make an emergency landing in St. Louis the other day. Turns out that the pilot reporting that he was having trouble controlling the pitch of the plane at altitude so he he landed in St. Louis instead of Charlotte. Kind of makes sense when it was reported that one of the mechanics in Los Angeles where the flight started had a strong resemble to Hillary C. The TSA employee said I have never seen a maintenance person wearing a pant suit before. We all know of Clinton's use of aircraft to resolve open issues don't we Mr. Brown. That is Ron Brown of course former Sec of Commerce who went down on a chartered flight right before he going to answer some questions about his role in a couple of Clinton extracurricular events.

Speaking of our friends the Clintons Jesse Jackson is really pissed at Wee Willie. Jesse who perfected the term I want your money in my pocket through the use of charities (Remember Operation PUSH which took 8 milllion from Uncle Sam never accounted for a dime and when he was time to pay back the dough he bankrupted the charity.) Well Bill is making Jesse look like an amateur through his Clinton Foundation. Mark my words when fully investigated the Clinton Library and this NGO will make Jesse look like a choirboy.

Can't wait for the convention and be careful if you go to Denver that week, make sure you sleep with one eye open.

FATHERHOOD

I for one am relieved that John Edwards showed his eternal love for his wife and waited until she was in remission before he put it to Rielle Hunter. As Edwards said Rielle let's get this over with you never know what Elizabeth's doctor is going to call to say she that her cancer has come back. The biggest winner is Bill Clinton. Just when Clinton's supporters and detractors were shaking their heads about Wee Willie's bizarre behavior over the past 18 months John The Ambulance Chaser Edwards let him off the hook as the biggest dirt bag in American Politics. So when Hillary's henchmen leaked the story about Edwards they buried him and got pencil dick off the front pages.

Let's see 15K a month for Montecito resident Andy Young and 15K for Rielle that's 30K a month plus incidentals. Good thing that Fred Baron didn't tell Edwards about it. In his moronic stump speech where he talked about the two Americas Edwards pledged that if he became President he would insure everyone a shot at the American dream. Well he fullfilled his promise to Rielle with one shot. She is now living large.